It is easy to pick up emotions when one has a tendency to empathy. Having this, one can realize when not to strike and when not to attack. Accommodation for people is a very important act that addresses the needs of people, whether in a workplace or in housing or some other situation. It is not enough to know about one's identity, one's label, culture or handicap, to understand how to approach them. I posted something on Facebook recently about the topic of anxiety. I have a close friend who suffers major anxiety, and I currently have three claims going through the legal system on behalf of people whose anxiety has created such major problems for themselves, that others have infringed upon their rights in some way, either by doing something or failing to do something. I have been told by others that such people should just stop worrying and pick themselves up by their bootstraps. Sadly, it is attitudes like this that keep these folks hamstrung by their disability.
Back in the nineties, I was involved in many different kinds of organizations, particularly a few where I was in a position to employ others. During the early nineties, it was not necessarily a big thing to accommodate people with disabilities, although this was the law since the 1960's. He was a superb performer who I hired to take on responsibility for the various policy initiatives the agency that employed me engaged in. W accomplished a lot together in a short time. During that time, I was the type of person that can write excellent proposals and put forth great ideas, utilizing strategies for matching funds, top up funding, project based initiatives and so forth. My success rate was fairly high and at this time, we created programs that can be utilized across Canada. We went through the bureaucratic channels of identifying our initiatives, our selected proponents, our objectives, etc. He and I worked on several of these projects together, occasionally traveling together across Canada to meetings or site visits.
There was then a period of time my spider sense started to bite me about this fellow. Prior to this, there were no complaints about his work, his ability to relate to others and to complete tasks. I was never a direct accountability manager, as I always tried to see the many moving parts of a project work together, so that I would coordinate, delegate, observe and encourage others to work as a team. We made decisions together, even though it was my right to direct otherwise. I don't know whether this is because I am female, having held different executive type positions in non-profit or public organizations, as well as in my own private sector businesses, and naturally being more empathetic to how people are feeling. First, I don't deal well with a lot of negative around me. I can sense it even if nobody else is talking about it, or even appearing to suffer from some type of awkward environment. When I began to sense this, I would ask how I can help instead of just trying to find who to place the blame for such a travesty on.
My fellow started to come in late a couple times a week, which was troublesome but not to the extreme, because while it is important to have predictability and organization, stipulating specific punctuality on the dot is a bit too much micromanaging for me. There would be times when he would be at his desk, not appearing productive. Certain deadlines we set together slipped, and then slipped again. Many of my colleagues would wonder whether this was drugs, alcohol or plain old laziness. I was more naturally inclined to get a discussion going about what this person can share with me about their situation at the time and how the workplace can best accommodate them. Is there something I should be doing that would enhance or perhaps, provide support to this person (as this kind of pattern to me signals a need for support, not disciplinary action). After I heard the situation and what was needed, I made minor changes in the workplace that would allow him to address his needs. He told me how shocked he was because prior employers never expressed that concern, but my concern is keeping good people on the job working productively.
What is this script about? It is about understanding other people. Everyday, we work with people, many we love and enjoy working with, others we may have difficulties with. Usually the moving parts work well together as a well oiled machine should, but there are occasional breakdowns, usually enhanced as a result of lack of communication or if communications is being done, it is done in a way that is aggressive or hurtful to the other party. We are not always aware of how our own communication patterns can affect others. Even I have fallen victim to this, but I have had to at least convey an apology to the person concerned and learn how not to deal with a situation like that in the future. However, sometimes others do not. This builds the toxins in the system, gradually wearing down on the machine that made that place work. People want to blame. People want to dump on others. People want to run. None of these things are productive. I sometimes wish there were people who knew how to communicate using the concept of Johari's Window.
A window would have four frames,all of which represents the following items as they concern themselves with communication. One frame would be the facts within one's own private knowledge and thoughts. These are the things that are affecting you, or that you are thinking about, or opinions that are being formed, but I don't see them or hear of them. The other frame is the things that are happening to me, my own thoughts and reactions to them, as well as how I might have felt this morning when I got up out of bed and fell flat on my face. I am not going to say that to you.
The third window includes the things that are happening that neither you or I know about. These are things that are outside of my awareness, or as I often say, "things that fly over my head". These are also outside of your awareness. Your son might be out at the time and getting into an accident and smashing the car. Your partner might be preparing a big surprise party for your fiftieth birthday. The final frame is the frame that includes you and I and what you and I both know, both facts that we share in common as well as knowledge that we know of each other. I know your favourite colour is blue. I know you enjoy your coffee black. I know you and your partner have been having a rough time lately with bills, your teenage son and making arrangements for your mother, who has been getting on in age and needs more care that either of you can provide for her. You know I just lost both of my parents, have been tied up at work with a major project that is taking on more dimensions that I expected when I first started and that my health has been an issue as well.
I come into your house with seeming a chip on my shoulder. Perhaps I am impulsive, acting more erratic than I usually do, especially in my style of communications. You are taken aback by this and wonder what the heck you did to cause me to be angry at you. However, because I did not tell you about the idiot that cut me off on the highway, the cheque that bounced that was supposed to go to my mortgage, and my neighbours that held a party the night before until three o'clock in the morning. At the same time, you did not tell me about your son's illness that was just diagnosed yesterday afternoon and a pending series of layoffs at your workplace. You are naturally anxious and afraid that your job will be affected, but in not telling me that, you are seeing my behaviour as erratic and more aggressive than usual and you wonder if it was your fault. To you, your world is coloured with fear and anxiety. You are worried about your son's health. You are seeing me as the aggressor that is somehow coming down on you or perhaps, being overly critical of things in general. You begin to get upset, turn away from me and ask me to leave. That is not your style. You are usually open and are able to take me in most of my moods and help me laugh it off. I wonder what is going on with you and what the heck I did to you that is making you indifferent.
So that becomes another jab at my day, now that one of my closest friends wants nothing to do with me. I go home, wondering, scratching my head, and thinking about the possibility I did something wrong to you. You are wondering why I was seemingly so irritated with you. The fact of the matter here is that neither you or I are any different than we were the day before, but circumstances, our own set of facts unknown to the other person, have become a communication barrier. Sometimes, what needs to be done is to open that damned window and allow the relevant facts to come in. The facts are put on the table and then I can start to see why you were so indifferent to me, and you can see why I was unusually agitated. We both know at that point that this whole thing had nothing to do with either of us and that we are still friends. Life will go on.
It is kind of hard to explain, but that is how I address the people issues I encounter in my career and how I seem to know how to accommodate people when I know the facts behind a person's need. In the above case scenario, once I learn the facts, I might offer to do something with you that would help bring you and your son closer together. I would talk to you about strategies to learn more about what is happening in your workplace, while I treat you and your family to a nice dinner and musical or something like that. I keep an 'open door policy' on things. In a business relationship, we try to see what can make your work easier, keep you at a productive level and proactive, about what can be done in the near and more distant future. At the same time, it would be nice for you to know that I am human too, and people having parties next door does not promote good mental health for me. Because I am likely to be tired, maybe you can offer to drive me to my business meeting in Hamilton later that day instead of me driving myself and risking some other idiot cutting me off.
These principles, although humorous and simplistic as they appear, also apply to more complex situations. Communication is key. I know people's complaints, but in what way do they plan to be part of the solution? If a workplace accommodation is needed, you need to tell me what works and what doesn't. Just because you get migraines, it doesn't mean that another person I worked with who had migraines needed the same accommodations you need. We are all individuals, shaped by our various values, experiences and personal objectives. For me, I need an environment of certainty, to some extent predictability, while at the same time offering me a range of options to choose from to further grow in my career goals, personal goals, or whatever. I try to offer the same in return, although some people tend to like the unexpected ... I am just not one of them.
Developing the empathy and the skills to do all of this has taken a lot of time for me. However, doing this has furthered my abilities to grow, gain new experience and meet various people I might never have had an opportunity to know. This is an important skill for people to have, especially in the business world. As an employer, you need to be open to ensure that you are not unreasonably limiting your positions to certain people, aka people like you. This is important in customer service as well, as you do not know who will be coming through your door. Is your building easy to find? Is it on a bus route? Is there reasonable parking nearby? Can people easily get through your front door? Is your place of business on the level ground, or is there an elevator? Are your doors wide enough to admit even those in a power chair? Is there access to quiet space to meet with someone? How is the lighting? The same thoughts should be in any other area of your life's activities.
This goes back to my friend with the anxiety disorder. What this person also needs is certainty, acceptance and open communication. Sadly, in all of my three cases going through the legal system right now as a result of somebody failing to accommodate somebody's anxiety issues, this simple structure and assurance was lacking for them, which in turn led to more serious problems. The more cynical in my profession sees these situations as an opportunity to litigate, but the more humane side of me sees these situations as something that could have been handled much better and opening more of the world to these specific people who are involved.
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
THE RISE OF THE ANOMIE GENERATION
I walked the full walk for the Coldest Night of the Year 2017 for Start Me Up Niagara. Start Me Up Niagara's business is booming, but for the wrong reasons. Sadness and hurt is ubiquitous with personal pain taking priority over social peace. The organization tries to put into place hands on solutions that produce long term change for people, instead of just feeding an empty belly for a night, or for a few days. They pursue the concept that all people have value, not just those that are reaping most of society's rewards.
This winter has been rough for me with the death of my mother last fall, only to be followed by the knowledge and helplessness of my father dying before me. To me, it is though society has been taking a turn in a different direction and we all feel like helpless pawns trying to fight against the forces that try to keep us all down. Members of my profession are susceptible to mental health issues because people do not approach us when their lives are doing well, when optimism speaks the day. We spend our time receiving, analyzing, outputting and speaking out, filing complaints, approaching people who are less than happy to see us, only to be misunderstood by those for whom we speak at times, as well as our colleagues.
Niagara Region is not a nice place to live and do the type of work that I do, without expecting to have some of it rub on you. It is part of the compassion of my advocacy and my practice. I actually give a damn about the people that come in to see us. I've often considered the work of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs ... my people are at all sorts of levels of that ladder, although nobody I know has truly reached the top of personal fulfillment. At this time of the year, it is so hard to keep going ... people around me are talking about the spring as though the spring can only bring blessings and freedom from this chronic darkness. I spoke to the cab driver that took me here who told me as he let me off to keep your stick on the ice. His eyes seemed to know how I was feeling, though I mentioned none of it ... he did mentioned so many people are hurting and cranky today.
This world is not the world that folks like my mother and father built. My mother and father lived in a different world, in a different time ... perhaps, when we didn't know so much about the dangers of smoking and other things like that. Growing up, I always noted people being mostly of an 'average' type, although I tended to thrive among the intellectuals. We intellectuals would discuss anything, ranging from the eventual usefulness of learning the Pythagorean Theorem, to remembering the name of every bone and muscle in the human body and the periodic table. At the same time, I watched the world evolve into something that I no longer understand or want more of. My grandfather who I adored throughout his long life is probably rolling in his grave if he knew what the world has consisted of today. He always taught me to remain strong, think for myself and keep fighting for justice.
In my working world, it is all computers, cloud technology, server technology and legal rigidity. It is a controlled environment in some way, where we can give others the gift of a certain amount of peace and control in their lives. Experiencing things, hearing things, doing things and then writing up memos about all of that becomes the life of law. I continue to want and need the people around me that I have, as when I am not at work there is less of that, but more raw human emotions and amorphous anger directed at no particular direction. I walk out of my office tonight. One fellow is yelling and screaming obscenities down King Street, kicking over every garbage can or other chattel that moves. Another fellow mumbled words only he knew what they meant, while giving us all the starry eye and that scary grin. In the housing of the bank machines, people lie down and make themselves at home there. They tell me they won't go to a shelter.
The world my mother and father were part of was one where everybody worked for a decent wage or produced decent wages for others, while looking forward to a decent retirement where the thought of mere survival and struggle was distant. During my mother and father's time, people cared for one another, for their neighbours and did not mind having a government that also gave a damn. My mother would tell me of how she grew up in a time that even rock and roll music was so new, so different and unabashedly rebellious. Nevertheless, she felt the growth of illicit drug use led to where we are today, but then again, she faced her own comeuppance. She married the man she thought would take care of her and us for the rest of her life, but that did not turn out right. My father picked up and left my mother for what he saw were greener pastures, though that did not prove rewarding for him in the long run either. At one time, there were consequences for one's actions ... or at least some expectation that one would apologize or at least forgive.
The fact that my mother passed away and my father is on his way to his own fate reminds me of the era that both of them lived through and hoped for our next generation passing on as well, and moving to a new ambiguous future where public anger results in the rise of people like Donald Trump and favouring policies like Brexit ... looking for solutions in politicians that create both impossible expectations and unanticipated grief for way too many ... the people want this, so why not they justify their stake into the very heart of society. Society becomes an unnecessary force, as worship of the individual takes over, the thought that one strong man can make it right, is as scary as it sounds ... I try to explain to people the elements of contagion theory and a voice of authority quietly condoning violence and hatred of the latest scapegoat group, or even joking about it to a large crowd of angry supporters ... is something that is as dangerous today, as it has always been. Sometimes our first instincts, our first spark of anger and our desires arising from them are not necessarily the panacea we should be seeking.
In today's unabated community of 'alternative facts' and so-called fake news, society is approaching its pinnacle in its anomie. The progressive forces of society not only have to fight the tendency of celebrity worship sharing the same old neoliberal concepts to run a government, whilst ignoring the very real consequences of a society going under, but to help people away from harming their own interests. I tell people close to me what it was like for me to work in the mental health system when our province was headed by Mike Harris, who as his first move when elected slashed welfare rates, fired numerous civil servants and started the downward curve in health care coverage. This is when I realized that the old era had ended and a new, scary reality was taking shape. I do truly believe we never truly recovered from that period. In my darkest moments, I still remember those who have died or have lost everything they owned or even their families or loved ones through Mike the Knife's slash and burn policies.
Those who worked alongside me back then are either dead or still wear their scars. Occasionally, I meet one of them who appear very surprised to see me owning a legal office and partaking in rights-based litigation these days. At the same time, I try to provide support and avenues for others to practice and to partake in profit sharing with me. I also provide ongoing support and mentoring to others in the profession, many of whom just had too much. Many stopped believing in what they do or what they are worth. It's about the world and what it has been coming to. It's about society telling people they are on their own, regardless. I don't want to see the world turn out like that. I want to stand up and make a difference where I can. It is just sometimes so hard to see where I am going with this. Some tell me it is about the ripple in the water the stone I make creates, as it broadens it scope to cover more ground. Being a survivor is not all about glory and celebrity; it is grit and hard work, and many times hard feelings.
Click the links throughout this post and you will hear songs/videos replaying elements of the world I am referring herein. Would be interested in your thoughts.
This winter has been rough for me with the death of my mother last fall, only to be followed by the knowledge and helplessness of my father dying before me. To me, it is though society has been taking a turn in a different direction and we all feel like helpless pawns trying to fight against the forces that try to keep us all down. Members of my profession are susceptible to mental health issues because people do not approach us when their lives are doing well, when optimism speaks the day. We spend our time receiving, analyzing, outputting and speaking out, filing complaints, approaching people who are less than happy to see us, only to be misunderstood by those for whom we speak at times, as well as our colleagues.
Niagara Region is not a nice place to live and do the type of work that I do, without expecting to have some of it rub on you. It is part of the compassion of my advocacy and my practice. I actually give a damn about the people that come in to see us. I've often considered the work of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs ... my people are at all sorts of levels of that ladder, although nobody I know has truly reached the top of personal fulfillment. At this time of the year, it is so hard to keep going ... people around me are talking about the spring as though the spring can only bring blessings and freedom from this chronic darkness. I spoke to the cab driver that took me here who told me as he let me off to keep your stick on the ice. His eyes seemed to know how I was feeling, though I mentioned none of it ... he did mentioned so many people are hurting and cranky today.
This world is not the world that folks like my mother and father built. My mother and father lived in a different world, in a different time ... perhaps, when we didn't know so much about the dangers of smoking and other things like that. Growing up, I always noted people being mostly of an 'average' type, although I tended to thrive among the intellectuals. We intellectuals would discuss anything, ranging from the eventual usefulness of learning the Pythagorean Theorem, to remembering the name of every bone and muscle in the human body and the periodic table. At the same time, I watched the world evolve into something that I no longer understand or want more of. My grandfather who I adored throughout his long life is probably rolling in his grave if he knew what the world has consisted of today. He always taught me to remain strong, think for myself and keep fighting for justice.
In my working world, it is all computers, cloud technology, server technology and legal rigidity. It is a controlled environment in some way, where we can give others the gift of a certain amount of peace and control in their lives. Experiencing things, hearing things, doing things and then writing up memos about all of that becomes the life of law. I continue to want and need the people around me that I have, as when I am not at work there is less of that, but more raw human emotions and amorphous anger directed at no particular direction. I walk out of my office tonight. One fellow is yelling and screaming obscenities down King Street, kicking over every garbage can or other chattel that moves. Another fellow mumbled words only he knew what they meant, while giving us all the starry eye and that scary grin. In the housing of the bank machines, people lie down and make themselves at home there. They tell me they won't go to a shelter.
The world my mother and father were part of was one where everybody worked for a decent wage or produced decent wages for others, while looking forward to a decent retirement where the thought of mere survival and struggle was distant. During my mother and father's time, people cared for one another, for their neighbours and did not mind having a government that also gave a damn. My mother would tell me of how she grew up in a time that even rock and roll music was so new, so different and unabashedly rebellious. Nevertheless, she felt the growth of illicit drug use led to where we are today, but then again, she faced her own comeuppance. She married the man she thought would take care of her and us for the rest of her life, but that did not turn out right. My father picked up and left my mother for what he saw were greener pastures, though that did not prove rewarding for him in the long run either. At one time, there were consequences for one's actions ... or at least some expectation that one would apologize or at least forgive.
The fact that my mother passed away and my father is on his way to his own fate reminds me of the era that both of them lived through and hoped for our next generation passing on as well, and moving to a new ambiguous future where public anger results in the rise of people like Donald Trump and favouring policies like Brexit ... looking for solutions in politicians that create both impossible expectations and unanticipated grief for way too many ... the people want this, so why not they justify their stake into the very heart of society. Society becomes an unnecessary force, as worship of the individual takes over, the thought that one strong man can make it right, is as scary as it sounds ... I try to explain to people the elements of contagion theory and a voice of authority quietly condoning violence and hatred of the latest scapegoat group, or even joking about it to a large crowd of angry supporters ... is something that is as dangerous today, as it has always been. Sometimes our first instincts, our first spark of anger and our desires arising from them are not necessarily the panacea we should be seeking.
In today's unabated community of 'alternative facts' and so-called fake news, society is approaching its pinnacle in its anomie. The progressive forces of society not only have to fight the tendency of celebrity worship sharing the same old neoliberal concepts to run a government, whilst ignoring the very real consequences of a society going under, but to help people away from harming their own interests. I tell people close to me what it was like for me to work in the mental health system when our province was headed by Mike Harris, who as his first move when elected slashed welfare rates, fired numerous civil servants and started the downward curve in health care coverage. This is when I realized that the old era had ended and a new, scary reality was taking shape. I do truly believe we never truly recovered from that period. In my darkest moments, I still remember those who have died or have lost everything they owned or even their families or loved ones through Mike the Knife's slash and burn policies.
Those who worked alongside me back then are either dead or still wear their scars. Occasionally, I meet one of them who appear very surprised to see me owning a legal office and partaking in rights-based litigation these days. At the same time, I try to provide support and avenues for others to practice and to partake in profit sharing with me. I also provide ongoing support and mentoring to others in the profession, many of whom just had too much. Many stopped believing in what they do or what they are worth. It's about the world and what it has been coming to. It's about society telling people they are on their own, regardless. I don't want to see the world turn out like that. I want to stand up and make a difference where I can. It is just sometimes so hard to see where I am going with this. Some tell me it is about the ripple in the water the stone I make creates, as it broadens it scope to cover more ground. Being a survivor is not all about glory and celebrity; it is grit and hard work, and many times hard feelings.
Click the links throughout this post and you will hear songs/videos replaying elements of the world I am referring herein. Would be interested in your thoughts.
Sunday, May 15, 2016
THE CULTURE OF DESPERATION, ISOLATION AND GEOGRAPHIC IMPOVERISHMENT
It was a few weeks ago that I noted that the Piano Man was back. He was perched up in his usual bus bench in front of the Farmer's Market playing an endless array of demo strings on his organ. One was particularly memorable, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. This was played out loud and clear at two o'clock in the morning to an empty audience on a clear, but cool night in April. I was struggling to continue to overcome my stint in the hospital, which whacked me more emotionally than physically, although I am still medicated. I spoke to the Piano Man once. He told me lived close by, so each time he was able to bring his equipment by pulling it in his cart. The last time was when my husband and I were waiting the last bus home, he came to tell us about a hundred "refugees" from Fort McMurray had arrived at Niagara. I thought to myself, "Those people must be really desperate to come to Niagara, of all places, with no jobs, no money, no future". Then, it was realized they had come back to their families they had left behind when they first left to Fort McMurray.
The Piano Man was around last year too, when my husband and I would go to the bars, have a few drinks, cheer on the Blue Jays and come back to rest up and then go home. I haven't been out anywhere in a long time because simply I can't afford it. Too many people around me in this region are experiencing the Cloud, you know that big hanging gray thing that doesn't leave your stream of consciousness as you attempt to go about your business. There's a whole section of King Street, especially towards Ontario Street where businesses have literally closed down. Even Jumpin' Jaxx, one of my favourite after-bar eats when we all used to hang out at Open Mike nights at the Strega Cafe. We'd sit outside on clear nights and chat politics, philosophy, hopes and dreams, none of which ever became true for any of us. I meet the same people we used to do this with ... many are gone already to Toronto or other better climes, but the ones here are left aimless, with a Cloud over their head, even those who had cheerfully graduated from Brock, even those from Brock's Badgers and others who once held down the fort in this Town.
My illness has left me for broke. All the bills still come in, even if I am not able to bring in any money. This is something that two income families do not have to worry about or people who have high paying jobs with the kind of benefits that would carry you over for a short or long-term illness. I've longed for the days when I was able to secure good high-paid employment with these kinds of benefits, but this is not possible in Niagara. Niagara Region has a culture of gigs, low paying part-time jobs and if you are lucky, you can win a lottery or inherit some money and buy some property by the lake. It is not that there is nobody that is doing well in Niagara. I know a few of them, but unfortunately, there are not enough of them to invest in the entire infrastructure we once had and has now collapsed. There are large companies that feed off the poor, such as payday loan companies, household rental agencies, temp employment agencies, pawn shops and similar enterprises that have scarred our once pristine real estate.
As my husband and I left to catch a cab earlier in the week, a man was shouting to himself as he awkwardly walked down the street. His eyes, glittering from the dose of whatever hit he took, gazed at me then quickly turned away. These are part of the downtown landscape these days. All the days when I used to enjoy time together with my husband and even on my own, are gone. I leave my decrepit home to go to my office, where the stress and threat level always seems so magnified, that nothing I do relieves this anxiety. It's not my inability to do my work that is an issue -- it is the kind of problems that walk through my door that create the anger, the sense of hopelessness that I have in this region. We do many kinds of disability claims, which we are largely successful in but they can be a high climb. People I deal with often have mental disorders and their visions and anger and lost dreams are part of what they bring through my door. I compartmentalize. However, regardless of well I do that, I still remember when private practice was fun. Those were the days people had more agreements, more hopes, more dreams and we were consulted to assist them with business plans, board training, workshops, etc., which I enjoyed delivering as much as those receiving them enjoyed attending. I looked forward to this and did not have to think, just put one foot in front of the other and soon, this one will be dealt with and done. These times were memorable.
Unfortunately, there is not much of that going on anymore. Many small businesses have disappeared or gone bankrupt. Even a few of my colleagues had left their practices in less than glowing terms. There is a high rate of pain and depression among those in my profession. Around Ontario, I am aware of some who've had to go to rehab, others who have attempted suicide, others who have quit their practices and others who have had health crises, a heart attack, a stroke or something like I just had. To the contrary, leaning on one's fellow colleagues is not always a great thing, especially when we all are feeling the same way, but many will not admit it. We have to put a look of strength on our faces, while we work to save the folks who come to us who are literally worse off. Working in the Niagara Region in any small business can be a challenge for anyone. People have a much lower average and median income than most other parts of Ontario, At least half of those that have jobs are working precariously. Most new jobs in the region are low-paying, low skilled positions. Too many people are resigned to be happy just to get a call centre job, an occupation with high turnover, high stress and in many ways, hard on the family.
I know when they come through my door - the names of the culprits tend to be repeated, as we prepare to go through our third, fourth, fifth or sixth round with the same parties. I try not to be too insular at this, as even these parties are hurting in their own way and as Jesus lie dying on His cross, he prayed to His Father, "Forgive them, Father, for they do not know" or words to this effect. It seems when the Cloud falls over us and we become ensnared in her difficult web, we become outwardly more nasty to one another and unable to come to a consensus. At the worst of this, I see more hate crimes committed against people, our most vulnerable. These are the folks that are so distressed that they believe that somehow very vulnerable people are getting something that they aren't and therefore, they must churn their aggression on them. I've witnessed people kicking a homeless man right on my street, as well as a group of teenagers pushing an older woman off her wheelchair and told her tauntingly that she can walk. While I do report all of these incidents, I never see how they are dealt with, and it appears that nobody is surprised when I tell them what I saw.
I walk down the streets of downtown. I notice many businesses closing down, only a few new ones opening up. The tenure of the new ones always seems uncertain as sometimes it seems a business has a remnant of permanency, but appears to lose it once the economy even slips yet another impossible notch. When one is at the bottom, one cannot believe how much further we can go. The fact is Niagara has become more and more bimodal in terms of success patterns. I've met someone I knew in the 1990's who was always investing money in properties, in businesses and various activities. The last time I seen him he was receiving ODSP, after a series of heart attacks. One may say, he should have purchased disability insurance. The point is he did, and yes - he did collect for a bit - until they decided he was on it for too long and he got kicked off, like most claimants eventually are. ODSP is becoming more and more the point of ONLY resort and not last resort.
There are others who I will refer to as the Temporarily Better Off (TBO). These are folks that appear to have jobs that last more than a couple of years, pay people enough to eat and have a roof over their head in the same month and might even pay well enough for the person to own and operate a car. However, more and more studies are pointing to the fact that a majority of these people when asked, believe they are one paycheque, one spouse or one illness away from abject poverty. One of my female acquaintances who was forced onto CPP after long term disability basically dropped her after she had to sue and settle with them, still does not recognize that she is one spouse away from desperate poverty herself. Her spouse is a nice man, very ambitious and successful enough to claim and actually keep middle class status ... but like anybody else, all it takes is an illness, an accident or some other issue to lay him out and then he can no longer support the family. One's own empire of assets gets torn down instantly when you ask for help. You have to live on your savings, your retirement savings, sell your second property, etc. until you are down to next to nothing, before you can get help. I don't know what that accomplishes other than keeping people in need of financial support, making it very difficult for them to climb back up, but somehow the TBOs of our society think this is okay. ODSP keeps stats on how people exit the system. Less than one tenth of one percent leave the system through employment or self-employment. Most leave through reaching the age of sixty five or through premature death. Some get married and leave the system as well, but that number is very low as well.
I hear the folks at ODSP wondering why more and more people are getting on this system. How can we stem the flow, they ask. Well, if people can just stop getting sick, stop getting into accidents, stop divorcing their spouses, etc., we'd all be happy. However, misery tends to compound misery and over the past several years, I've watched so many couples separate and/or divorce. To think this does not affect the upcoming generation is a complete understatement! Niagara Region has become a bastion of depression, apathy, division, scapegoating and poverty. One fellow I spoke to said he read a study that said that there are 100 unemployed workers seeking jobs for every single vacancy. That's not very good and certainly not a unifying factor ... for those that get these jobs, there are always people who think they got these jobs for reasons of nepotism, being a minority, etc. I have met men in the region that feel that they have no protection under the Human Rights Code or Charter, when in fact this isn't true. The majority of folks I've represented before the HRTO were white males and we have met with successful settlements and a few times, successful hearings.
The provincial government wants to pick a region to test the guaranteed annual income. I say, don't pick a region - just implement the damned thing. However, if any region needs to be picked, pick Niagara Region, as to me, this area seems to be the one that is so badly covered by that gray cloud and is followed by lingering misery and longing for days gone by. The people here need a boost to their morale, their sense of hope and to aid them in becoming the creative, capable people they were meant to be, and maybe then my practice will grow back into more of what it used to be ... to help people build things, as opposed to constantly fighting for the declining set of crumbs our social safety net offers, or to assist in conflicts with others that led to each one's demise. Maybe then, the Piano Man will continue to play, but aside from himself, he will have others with him playing guitar, drums and violin, and get invited to play in bars, clubs and other places. He will no longer be alone playing musical demos at three o'clock in the morning.
Your thoughts?
The Piano Man was around last year too, when my husband and I would go to the bars, have a few drinks, cheer on the Blue Jays and come back to rest up and then go home. I haven't been out anywhere in a long time because simply I can't afford it. Too many people around me in this region are experiencing the Cloud, you know that big hanging gray thing that doesn't leave your stream of consciousness as you attempt to go about your business. There's a whole section of King Street, especially towards Ontario Street where businesses have literally closed down. Even Jumpin' Jaxx, one of my favourite after-bar eats when we all used to hang out at Open Mike nights at the Strega Cafe. We'd sit outside on clear nights and chat politics, philosophy, hopes and dreams, none of which ever became true for any of us. I meet the same people we used to do this with ... many are gone already to Toronto or other better climes, but the ones here are left aimless, with a Cloud over their head, even those who had cheerfully graduated from Brock, even those from Brock's Badgers and others who once held down the fort in this Town.
My illness has left me for broke. All the bills still come in, even if I am not able to bring in any money. This is something that two income families do not have to worry about or people who have high paying jobs with the kind of benefits that would carry you over for a short or long-term illness. I've longed for the days when I was able to secure good high-paid employment with these kinds of benefits, but this is not possible in Niagara. Niagara Region has a culture of gigs, low paying part-time jobs and if you are lucky, you can win a lottery or inherit some money and buy some property by the lake. It is not that there is nobody that is doing well in Niagara. I know a few of them, but unfortunately, there are not enough of them to invest in the entire infrastructure we once had and has now collapsed. There are large companies that feed off the poor, such as payday loan companies, household rental agencies, temp employment agencies, pawn shops and similar enterprises that have scarred our once pristine real estate.
As my husband and I left to catch a cab earlier in the week, a man was shouting to himself as he awkwardly walked down the street. His eyes, glittering from the dose of whatever hit he took, gazed at me then quickly turned away. These are part of the downtown landscape these days. All the days when I used to enjoy time together with my husband and even on my own, are gone. I leave my decrepit home to go to my office, where the stress and threat level always seems so magnified, that nothing I do relieves this anxiety. It's not my inability to do my work that is an issue -- it is the kind of problems that walk through my door that create the anger, the sense of hopelessness that I have in this region. We do many kinds of disability claims, which we are largely successful in but they can be a high climb. People I deal with often have mental disorders and their visions and anger and lost dreams are part of what they bring through my door. I compartmentalize. However, regardless of well I do that, I still remember when private practice was fun. Those were the days people had more agreements, more hopes, more dreams and we were consulted to assist them with business plans, board training, workshops, etc., which I enjoyed delivering as much as those receiving them enjoyed attending. I looked forward to this and did not have to think, just put one foot in front of the other and soon, this one will be dealt with and done. These times were memorable.
Unfortunately, there is not much of that going on anymore. Many small businesses have disappeared or gone bankrupt. Even a few of my colleagues had left their practices in less than glowing terms. There is a high rate of pain and depression among those in my profession. Around Ontario, I am aware of some who've had to go to rehab, others who have attempted suicide, others who have quit their practices and others who have had health crises, a heart attack, a stroke or something like I just had. To the contrary, leaning on one's fellow colleagues is not always a great thing, especially when we all are feeling the same way, but many will not admit it. We have to put a look of strength on our faces, while we work to save the folks who come to us who are literally worse off. Working in the Niagara Region in any small business can be a challenge for anyone. People have a much lower average and median income than most other parts of Ontario, At least half of those that have jobs are working precariously. Most new jobs in the region are low-paying, low skilled positions. Too many people are resigned to be happy just to get a call centre job, an occupation with high turnover, high stress and in many ways, hard on the family.
I know when they come through my door - the names of the culprits tend to be repeated, as we prepare to go through our third, fourth, fifth or sixth round with the same parties. I try not to be too insular at this, as even these parties are hurting in their own way and as Jesus lie dying on His cross, he prayed to His Father, "Forgive them, Father, for they do not know" or words to this effect. It seems when the Cloud falls over us and we become ensnared in her difficult web, we become outwardly more nasty to one another and unable to come to a consensus. At the worst of this, I see more hate crimes committed against people, our most vulnerable. These are the folks that are so distressed that they believe that somehow very vulnerable people are getting something that they aren't and therefore, they must churn their aggression on them. I've witnessed people kicking a homeless man right on my street, as well as a group of teenagers pushing an older woman off her wheelchair and told her tauntingly that she can walk. While I do report all of these incidents, I never see how they are dealt with, and it appears that nobody is surprised when I tell them what I saw.
I walk down the streets of downtown. I notice many businesses closing down, only a few new ones opening up. The tenure of the new ones always seems uncertain as sometimes it seems a business has a remnant of permanency, but appears to lose it once the economy even slips yet another impossible notch. When one is at the bottom, one cannot believe how much further we can go. The fact is Niagara has become more and more bimodal in terms of success patterns. I've met someone I knew in the 1990's who was always investing money in properties, in businesses and various activities. The last time I seen him he was receiving ODSP, after a series of heart attacks. One may say, he should have purchased disability insurance. The point is he did, and yes - he did collect for a bit - until they decided he was on it for too long and he got kicked off, like most claimants eventually are. ODSP is becoming more and more the point of ONLY resort and not last resort.
There are others who I will refer to as the Temporarily Better Off (TBO). These are folks that appear to have jobs that last more than a couple of years, pay people enough to eat and have a roof over their head in the same month and might even pay well enough for the person to own and operate a car. However, more and more studies are pointing to the fact that a majority of these people when asked, believe they are one paycheque, one spouse or one illness away from abject poverty. One of my female acquaintances who was forced onto CPP after long term disability basically dropped her after she had to sue and settle with them, still does not recognize that she is one spouse away from desperate poverty herself. Her spouse is a nice man, very ambitious and successful enough to claim and actually keep middle class status ... but like anybody else, all it takes is an illness, an accident or some other issue to lay him out and then he can no longer support the family. One's own empire of assets gets torn down instantly when you ask for help. You have to live on your savings, your retirement savings, sell your second property, etc. until you are down to next to nothing, before you can get help. I don't know what that accomplishes other than keeping people in need of financial support, making it very difficult for them to climb back up, but somehow the TBOs of our society think this is okay. ODSP keeps stats on how people exit the system. Less than one tenth of one percent leave the system through employment or self-employment. Most leave through reaching the age of sixty five or through premature death. Some get married and leave the system as well, but that number is very low as well.
I hear the folks at ODSP wondering why more and more people are getting on this system. How can we stem the flow, they ask. Well, if people can just stop getting sick, stop getting into accidents, stop divorcing their spouses, etc., we'd all be happy. However, misery tends to compound misery and over the past several years, I've watched so many couples separate and/or divorce. To think this does not affect the upcoming generation is a complete understatement! Niagara Region has become a bastion of depression, apathy, division, scapegoating and poverty. One fellow I spoke to said he read a study that said that there are 100 unemployed workers seeking jobs for every single vacancy. That's not very good and certainly not a unifying factor ... for those that get these jobs, there are always people who think they got these jobs for reasons of nepotism, being a minority, etc. I have met men in the region that feel that they have no protection under the Human Rights Code or Charter, when in fact this isn't true. The majority of folks I've represented before the HRTO were white males and we have met with successful settlements and a few times, successful hearings.
The provincial government wants to pick a region to test the guaranteed annual income. I say, don't pick a region - just implement the damned thing. However, if any region needs to be picked, pick Niagara Region, as to me, this area seems to be the one that is so badly covered by that gray cloud and is followed by lingering misery and longing for days gone by. The people here need a boost to their morale, their sense of hope and to aid them in becoming the creative, capable people they were meant to be, and maybe then my practice will grow back into more of what it used to be ... to help people build things, as opposed to constantly fighting for the declining set of crumbs our social safety net offers, or to assist in conflicts with others that led to each one's demise. Maybe then, the Piano Man will continue to play, but aside from himself, he will have others with him playing guitar, drums and violin, and get invited to play in bars, clubs and other places. He will no longer be alone playing musical demos at three o'clock in the morning.
Your thoughts?
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
TALKING BACK TO BELL CANADA ON MENTAL HEALTH
January 27, 2016, is the day Bell Canada set out to talk about mental health issues. I can assure you that I do talk about these things. Many clients come into my office to talk about these things. Many agencies have discussed these things. However, I have a very different perspective when it comes to "talking about" mental health.
This is a good thing that these types of initiatives get people to talk about or think about mental health issues in a way that can help deal with stigma. However, the discussion that I seen take place, both in their commercials and in the superficial coverage of the topic in the press tends to increase stigma. These commercials focus on the workplace where the protagonist in the first one tries to explain her absences and depression to a colleague who then winces that she had to be absent during inventory. The second one involved two coworkers referring to a "Stuart" who was off again and they said he was bipolar. Again, the worry about the workload left on his peers.
While this is appreciated to raise this issue in the workplace and to talk about it among larger employers with human resource departments and the time to do this, it is quite another thing to show real life examples of employers actually hiring somebody they know ahead of time has suffered some type of mental health issue. Back in the 1990's, advocates cited a statistic that 80 -90% of people with a diagnosis of serious mental health issues were unemployed, I don't see that figure improving today. It seems that the main advocacy organization in Canada, the Canadian Mental Health Association, agrees with me as it refers to unemployment on its website. It saddens me that these commercials always seem to take place in large employers, which comprise less than 4.5% of all employers in Ontario which are for the most part, involved in a hiring freeze or laying people off. A straw poll my own agency in the 1990's conducted with employers of various sizes confirmed that employer attitudes have not changed much.
Mental health issues are complex to address, but it does not have to be expensive or complicated. Accommodations are as individual as the person concerned. Most people who have mental health issues will not inform their employer, for fear it will affect their chances of advancement or cause them to be treated differently than others; however, the major fear which seems to be based in reality is that applicants for positions will not disclose for fear of being denied the job. According to study cited by the CMHA, only 50% of us would disclose to friends and coworkers that a family members has a mental health disorder, while we would disclose the same about cancer and diabetes more than 75% of the time. Only 12% of respondents stated they would retain a lawyer who is known to have suffered from mental health issues. Slightly less than half of us would socialize with a friend we know that has mental health issues, and 27% of us are afraid to socialize with such persons.
The public is inundated by the entertainment industry that makes persons with mental health diagnosis seem violent and unpredictable, while the criminal justice system intersects with the media to make it seem that offenders who have mental health issues are violent, irresponsible and incapable of knowing right from wrong. We see them in movies, slasher films and crime dramas as being haunted by their delusions and hallucinations after they stop taking their medications. When yet another mass shooter or real life slasher like Luka Magnotta wants to be declared not criminally responsible, it sets us back yet another hundred years. The defence of not criminally responsible is rarely applied to violent crimes, but the media wants us to believe it happens all the time. People see this happening and will not seek help, as the conflation between mental illness and violence these situations depict can make an individual not want to be stigmatized in the same way.
The courts have also recognized mental health and addictions as an explanation for an accused's actions and consideration is given in the sentencing, as opposed to using NCR. This still leaves the accused responsible, but offers them a second chance to get clean, to get treatment or to better themselves in a way that will detract them from committing a similar offence in the future. In fact, ninety-five percent of the time, these explanations are used for much less serious and mostly non-violent offences (e.g. shoplifting, theft, fraud). I have used this angle myself while defending people in appropriate circumstances, which explains to the court why they did what they did - and giving it the thrust the person needs - to ask for help. I find the courts are genuinely interested in supporting the right outcomes for the specific accused, as opposed to a blunt instrument of right or wrong.
This is a good thing that these types of initiatives get people to talk about or think about mental health issues in a way that can help deal with stigma. However, the discussion that I seen take place, both in their commercials and in the superficial coverage of the topic in the press tends to increase stigma. These commercials focus on the workplace where the protagonist in the first one tries to explain her absences and depression to a colleague who then winces that she had to be absent during inventory. The second one involved two coworkers referring to a "Stuart" who was off again and they said he was bipolar. Again, the worry about the workload left on his peers.
While this is appreciated to raise this issue in the workplace and to talk about it among larger employers with human resource departments and the time to do this, it is quite another thing to show real life examples of employers actually hiring somebody they know ahead of time has suffered some type of mental health issue. Back in the 1990's, advocates cited a statistic that 80 -90% of people with a diagnosis of serious mental health issues were unemployed, I don't see that figure improving today. It seems that the main advocacy organization in Canada, the Canadian Mental Health Association, agrees with me as it refers to unemployment on its website. It saddens me that these commercials always seem to take place in large employers, which comprise less than 4.5% of all employers in Ontario which are for the most part, involved in a hiring freeze or laying people off. A straw poll my own agency in the 1990's conducted with employers of various sizes confirmed that employer attitudes have not changed much.
Mental health issues are complex to address, but it does not have to be expensive or complicated. Accommodations are as individual as the person concerned. Most people who have mental health issues will not inform their employer, for fear it will affect their chances of advancement or cause them to be treated differently than others; however, the major fear which seems to be based in reality is that applicants for positions will not disclose for fear of being denied the job. According to study cited by the CMHA, only 50% of us would disclose to friends and coworkers that a family members has a mental health disorder, while we would disclose the same about cancer and diabetes more than 75% of the time. Only 12% of respondents stated they would retain a lawyer who is known to have suffered from mental health issues. Slightly less than half of us would socialize with a friend we know that has mental health issues, and 27% of us are afraid to socialize with such persons.
The public is inundated by the entertainment industry that makes persons with mental health diagnosis seem violent and unpredictable, while the criminal justice system intersects with the media to make it seem that offenders who have mental health issues are violent, irresponsible and incapable of knowing right from wrong. We see them in movies, slasher films and crime dramas as being haunted by their delusions and hallucinations after they stop taking their medications. When yet another mass shooter or real life slasher like Luka Magnotta wants to be declared not criminally responsible, it sets us back yet another hundred years. The defence of not criminally responsible is rarely applied to violent crimes, but the media wants us to believe it happens all the time. People see this happening and will not seek help, as the conflation between mental illness and violence these situations depict can make an individual not want to be stigmatized in the same way.
The courts have also recognized mental health and addictions as an explanation for an accused's actions and consideration is given in the sentencing, as opposed to using NCR. This still leaves the accused responsible, but offers them a second chance to get clean, to get treatment or to better themselves in a way that will detract them from committing a similar offence in the future. In fact, ninety-five percent of the time, these explanations are used for much less serious and mostly non-violent offences (e.g. shoplifting, theft, fraud). I have used this angle myself while defending people in appropriate circumstances, which explains to the court why they did what they did - and giving it the thrust the person needs - to ask for help. I find the courts are genuinely interested in supporting the right outcomes for the specific accused, as opposed to a blunt instrument of right or wrong.
To me, the stigma is a huge problem for people with mental health diagnosis. The public needs to move beyond the label. Jack is not a :"schizophrenic"; Lucy is not a "manic-depressive" Jack is a person who also happens to have been diagnosed as having schizophrenia (a label I question but nevertheless, the argument here is the same). Lucy is also a person first, somebody who just happened to have been diagnosed as being "manic-depressive". Would it surprise you if I also told you Jack is a published academic, a psychiatrist and the head of a mental health rehabilitation agency? Would it surprise you to learn that Lucy is a high profile defence lawyer who is also an accomplished pianist who in her spare time raises funds for Sick Kids? If you met Jack or Lucy in these other roles and never knew about their mental health concerns, you would never consider that they might just happen to be "one of them"?
This is what today's stigma busting campaigns often forget about. Bringing in accomplished people to talk about their experiences is not a bad thing, but it negates the fact that social class plays a major role in what opportunities each of these folks had in overcoming their issues and obtaining the right supports. I have yet to meet a single one of these champions that spent a good part of their life on ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) who was inadvertently handed a major opportunity and viola - here they are! The public needs to see the possible: how these supports, opportunities, respect and understanding, can be extended to all persons with various levels of mental wellness. Opening doors to self-employment, dignified employment, public speaking engagements, and so forth, to me, is more therapeutic to somebody than simply leaving them on ODSP or referring to their "broken brains" (which again has as much art as well as science fiction).
When you read above that only 12% of Canadians would knowingly hire a lawyer who has had a history of mental health diagnosis, what does that say about Lucy? What does this also say to hundreds of employment coaches and employers that are so nervous about hiring people with mental health issues, that they prefer to relegate them to low wage, low skilled jobs, regardless of their talents and potential? I know this because I have interacted with a leader in the insurance industry here in Canada (who I will not identify nor will I identify the companies they work with) who I bumped into at a conference. She told me her companies hire all kinds of people with disabilities, including mental health disabilities. "They love them in the mail rooms," she said. This is unfortunately still a major problem or a group of well educated Canadians would not have needed to form Canadian Association of Professionals with Disabilities - protesting employers that ignore one's talents, carry low expectations and assume that most want to stay on their disability benefits.
If Bell and its sister corporations that are involved in this important campaign really want to accomplish a lot of good with their work, how many people with mental health labels has Bell Canada hired in the past year? Or intends to hire in the future? At all levels of the organization, from the mail room to the next CEO? For its media partners, how many people with mental health disabilities will they hire to produce, direct and appear on various productions? There are a few journalists I know who have been through horrific barriers due to mental health issues. Putting them on front and centre to read the news, to report the news, to produce and present documentaries, or even aid in developing television shows that portray people with mental health issues in a much more positive light? And that is ... just as people. People like you and I.
Now that was my volley. I kindly await yours.
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